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Tuesday, 16 July 2013

10 reasons why it rocks to be an atheist

  1. You are made of stardust, and I’m not talking about vaporized buttholes here. No, you are made from real freaking stars!  And so are Christians, Muslims, Jews and so on, but the difference is that you can believe it. You know that you stepped out of a supernova, and that you are ready to fucking rock!
  2. You can save up to 10% in taxes, simply by not believing. Being an atheist is free, and you can spend all your extra money on whatever you like.
  3. You can spend your Sunday mornings fucking your partner, rather than going to church. Or you can go to an orgy with all your hedonistic friends, or you can spend your allotted church-time sleeping. It’s great being an atheist on Sunday mornings as well.
  4. You can always disprove the existence of God like this: (x-y)z=zx-zy=God does not exist. Theists do not use logical explanations either.
  5. Richard Dawkins’ God Delusion looks much cooler on a bookshelf than a bible. Richard’s book is so shiny! However, I haven’t read it all way through. I only got to chapter three and came to the conclusion that Richard is a pain in the ass to argue against. Who knew there were so many facets of God to disprove - We get the fucking point Richard! The Big Bang Killed God! End of story!
  6. There is no thing called sin! Imagine that - You can do anything. However, for the sake of humanity, make use of your moral and reason. As an atheist, you are the enlightened one. You are not the kind of person to burn people on a stake because you believe them to be witches, are you?


  7. You don’t have to hate anybody! You are free to love whoever you like. If you meet a gay person, you can smile and give that person a high-five. If you meet a person with a different skin color, you can say hey bro and keep spreading the good karma.  You can go about your business feeling great!  As an atheist, you spread joy-joy feeling to all those around you – unless the people around you feel offended by your presence (it happens)
  8. You can make jokes like: The God particle is no longer called the God particle because now the Higgs Boson particle’s existence is proved… Oh, I love that one!
  9. You can question anything you like, and thereby the world becomes a much larger place… Actually it’ll become mindbogglingly big, and it will hurt your noggin if you think about it too much. However, it’s so damn beautiful!
  10. The rapture will never happen, and the universe will continue to exist for another 30 billion years.